The Challenge

 

 

2nd January

I’m tired of drinking and have been for sometime now, years in fact. So I have decided to challenge myself to stay sober for 100 days as many before me have. Not one drop may pass my lips. Each day I shall put a £1.00 into a sober collection and when I reach the 10th of APRIL 2016 I can treat myself, probably to something shiny for the kitchen. At any point I let myself down and break sobriety the collection will be given away and I will not have the pleasure of shopping.

As christmas and new year are only just behind me I imagine the first few days will be easier, I have drunk plenty of wine during December only abstaining from alcohol for 7 of it’s 31 days. Moving on into January it will probably get harder as a glass of wine is my release on shitty days and my pleasure on good days. Everyday seems like a good day for wine or the occasional beer.

To make the nag of having a drink a little easier I will block a few people on Facebook the kind that photograph what they sipping everyday and remove all alcohol and drinking vessels from the house.

One day at a time I say. I have the support of my partner for the month of January as we are both going into the new year dry, but from the 1st of February I’ll be on my own.

I am feeling positive, excited & a little nervous but ready to prove to myself that I can do this. It may seem a little self indulgent to be writing about my journey and sharing it with you but it feels good to talk it through in my head, almost therapeutic, like I’m clearing crap out to make room for new thoughts, sober ones. Maybe you’ll find it interesting. Ha ha doubtful.

What do I want to achieve? I want to be a good mum, girlfriend and daughter. I’m not bad at all these things already but I know I can be better, be more patient & listen more. A dear friend told me I needed to “love myself”the last time I drank too much in her company and ended up apologising for all that I’d said. You see I hold onto things, & let emotions build up, get paranoid then let it all gush out after a bottle of wine.

I’ve been looking into how I feel and function for some time now. A few years ago I gave up wheat and a few other items after some tests. Wow what a difference. Then last June I gave up refined sugars. Wow what a difference. I also gave up smoking when I fell pregnant with my first child and never looked back. My mind & body feel so much better without these toxins.
So as you have probably figured out giving up alcohol is the next step and has been on my mind for some time. I’ve been spending time reading other people’s stories and blogs then I came across Belle and her blog “Tired of thinking about drinking” she is an inspiration.

Alcohol doesn’t love me, my brain my liver, it gives me sleepless nights and irritable foggy mornings and the guilts. I need to keep fit and healthy for my family and with being fit and healthy i’ll find happiness and positivity & that is what I want in 2016. And I’m scared shitless of ending up in a home like my Dad all alone xx

Wish me luck xx
And I wish you luck if you are on a similar journey xx

 

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s