40

I turned 40 on Thursday and had 4 day celebration with friends and family. I had a huge amount of fun and laughter but consumed a lot of alcohol. 

Yesterday I felt so poorly I thought that was it, my day was suffocated with feelings of anxiety, panic and fear. 

I came home from my party and passed out for about 6 hours waking up with bruised arm from falling down whilst trying to get out of my dress. The state that I came home in was a far cry from the lady that went out. 

Actually I don’t remember getting home, I know that I fell as my Mum was here babysitting and told me the following morning. 

I can’t remember the last time I can’t remember getting home and never want that to happen to me again, I cannot allow that to happen to me again.

I will be doing the 100 day challenge again and will be putting a new spin on it for me, 100 days sober, 100 days of yoga. I’m hoping that adding the yoga aspect of it may help me to keep going this time. New mind and body for 2017. 

I received a fabulous new yoga mat for my birthday so need to move my body, strengthen my will and mind and be happy forever after.

My beautiful hair for my birthday celebrations. 

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Old news

I’ve just re read my blog from 2nd January 2016′ “the challenge” and I seem to have gone round in a big circle. I did achieve 100 days alcohol free in fact I think I did 130 but since I’ve battled with myself with do drink, don’t drink, dry this and moderate that. It’s early December and I have started to think of how I am going to stop drinking when all the celebrations are over and we enter into a new year.

I’m making up excuses everyday as to why I am not starting now, like, it’s my friends birthday, then I turn 40 next week, then its Christmas and then New Year, why start now eh.

I thought I had been in control of my alcohol consumption until I put the recycling out and in just 6 days I have consumed 2 bottles of wine and a bottle of Manzanilla (sherry) which I bought for Christmas of course. So this is why I feel aggy is it, drinking a little more than I am telling myself. We also went to a friends birthday drinks where I drank 3 large glasses of red, that’s another bottle right there. Sigh

The good thing is I no longer have to eat gluten, I had my last tests done almost a month ago and am grateful that I do not have celiacs disease, but am gluten intolerant so I am feeling much better from eliminating all gluten from my diet now. My face has calmed down, my skin is clearer and my tongue for the first time in more than a year isn’t sore. It still has a red patch but is finally clearing up.

I am back on track with my yoga too, just wish I had more time for it, I’ll do half an hour here or even 15 minutes when I can but unfortunately I always feel a bit rushed, it’s nap time or the dinner is cooking, I never really get time to totally switch off and be with the yoga. I need to find a class locally that I can escape to once a week .That’s a new year promise to myself. 

Written 9/12/16