Grateful for 3 things today

At work today there was ballot on bonus’s, we are very lucky to receive a company bonus every year however the retail market is tough and we are having to change the way we employ, train, and work and even all these changes may not be enough to keep us going beyond 2028, apparently. ┬áThe ballot was simple, put a X in the box against the statement we agreed with. I’m grateful to have a job and to have a job that can be flexible for me whilst my children are young. I voted, I voted that I would be happy to forfit my bonus if the tough gets going. I’m betting many won’t.

I was grateful that the sun was shining when I escaped the job and it was perfect kite flying weather, so that is exactly what we did, with Grandma in tow, we went for ice creams and fun under the crazy skies at Hengisbury Head. Beautiful.

I was grateful for the delicious asparagus on my dinner plate this evening, simply griddled with sea salt.

Oh and I am grateful for not drinking today, that’s 4!

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Self love

Tonight is peaceful the children are asleep, there is no tv on and it’s still light outside with a beautiful blue and pink sky and for the first time in a while I am sat with a peppermint tea and my thoughts. Taking some precious time to focus on all the good things that are happening in my life rather than the negative, shifting my focus and changing the way I think. It’s so easy to forget what we have and to be grateful.

I have recently read a piece about self love and how we don’t have to be perfect and about believing that we are enough. We are beautiful and amazing there is no need to be so hard on ourselves .

Life gets so busy with the children, work, visiting parents who do not have their health, cleaning, shopping, keeping in touch with friends, cooking, technology, playing, gardening, driving, queuing, traffic jams, washing, Ironing, social events, work events, setting up a new company. It’s non stop……… There is no time for me, I get lost in the stress of it all. Where am I?

We need to make time for ourselves, it is so important for our health and sanity.

I am still eating really well, nourishing my body with good whole fresh foods, organic where possible, I don’t eat wheat as I am intolerant and I gave up refined sugar about 15 months ago which got easier and easier as the weeks went by and is now something I don’t have to think about, all of these changes have had a profound effect on my appearance, my skin is bright, I sleep well (if the children don’t wake up) and my moods are better as I have no highs and lows and I am a size 8, in fact I bought a pair of size 6 shorts the other day. My body shape and size has changed so much from these changes and has managed to find it’s natural build, I even have a pack, just one!

I also addressed my alcohol habits this year doing 132 days straight without a drink and although I broke my sobriety I am still working really hard everyday on giving it up for good, I’ll know when the time is right and when I am ready, it’s coming.

So I am going to continue with this self love but take it one step further and take a little bit of time back for me, to drink my herbal tea and do some yoga, to read a book, to breathe and be with my thoughts, to write my blog , I need just 1 hour a day, surely that is possible?

Today I went for a massage after work, that was my hour and I have earnt it.

 

Sleep

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Sleep is back

I have been deprived of sleep for 16 months since our youngest was born, sometimes only getting 3 to 4 hours a night but things are changing. She has started to sleep through, finally. Last Friday we seemed to turn a corner, well, more than a corner actually she has gone from one extreme to other, now sleeping 13 hours straight through.

I am ecstatic as it was starting to get to me, so more sleep and my iron supplements should start to kick start a refreshed me. I just wish the seagulls would be quiet, oh boy do they make a lot of noise. I don’t really notice them during the day as we are busy playing and doing chores, they then seem to disappear early evening but return about 4am, some crazy sounds come from those creatures and some of them are really large. They make a real fuss for an hour or so then disappear again, I wonder where, out to sea, who knows.

 
Last night I didn’t have a drink and for some reason I didn’t have any arguments with myself about buying any either I was content with my tea. I know I won’t be drinking tonight either as I am up early driving, doing a 140 mile round trip to visit my Mum who is suffering with depression. Mum has always been a fighter but she just couldn’t keep it up any longer and asked for help. She has moved in with her sister for a while, until she feels safer being on her own at home again and the antidepressants start to to help.
I’m taking my 2 daughters with me as they have a way of putting a smile on Grandmas face and mine.

and I wish the media would leave Paul Gascoigne alone, he is a poorly man, just like my Dad who needs love and care, not mocking, being photographed and humiliated. It makes me so sad.

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Attempt 6

No, not at the no drinking thing but at my root canal, my new dentist feels confident that he has done a good job and with time it should settle and stop being uncomfortable, upto 6 months apparently. I am so glad that I don’t have to go through that again, it’s unfortuante I had such a bad experience with it though.

In other news I didn’t drink today.

Peppemint tea and yoga this evening.

 

 

 

iron

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Today I learnt that I have a iron deficiency. Hoorah….. I had some tests done last week, I rarely go to the doctors but I have been feeling dreadful for quite some time, months and months so thought I’d better check things out. It probably stems back from being pregnant and having the children, I think it’s quite common.

I have a new list of foods to avoid which includes, whole grains, eggs, coffee (drastic), tea, and milk which will help my body absorb the iron it needs from my otherwise healthy diet along with a supplement. I need to do this for 3 months then be retested. This will explain my fatigue, irritability, headaches and even my sore tongue.

And what is going on with our country, it feels such a mess. Im not sure that is going going to be quite so easy to fix.

 

Is moderation a myth

I’ve just read my last blog and it’s rather embarrassing really. I was so pleased with myself and how in control I felt at the time of writing it, but now I know I am not in control in any way. Moderation hasn’t worked for me and probably doesn’t exist, it’s a myth.

I have had a drink every day this week, the alcohol has slowly crept back into the house, and into my life. I hadn’t thought about it being a problem again until yesterday when I had to go to work with a head ache after finishing 3 glasses of wine with dinner the night before.

I’m not quite sure what to do about it either, or how I feel.

However it’s strawberry season and English strawberries are delicious, beautifuly red, juicy and so sweet to taste. We went to PYO yesterday which made me and the girls very happy. One for the punnet one for me!

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