managing moderation


Last night I thoroughly enjoyed an evening out for a friends birthday and it was the first time in about 15 months me and my partner have been out together as I was brave enough to leave the children with a babysitter.

The venue for the dinner party is one of my favourites. There is only 1 table which seats 12 friends & family for a private audience with the chef and owner who serves 8 exquisite courses. He trained with Albert and Michel Roux, and has worked in restaurants with Anton Edelman and John Torrode so needless to say each course is not only beautiful to look at but a taste sensation.

It’s unlicensed so the diners bring their own alcohol but they do provide a bar area with glasses and ice and equipment for opening, mixing and pouring beverages.

My friends mixed drinks and made cocktails whilst the waitresses keep the wine flowing at the table throughout the meal, it’s really well thought out.

On the menu last night we enjoyed so many flavours and aromas all mingled in with clever, fun and beautiful presentations with twists. One of things I love about this way of eating is you get to try food you wouldn’t normally order if you were choosing from a menu. The chef does check dietary requirements in advance but the rest is secret, each course a special surprise placed in front of you and presented like a gift.

I enjoyed a glass of superior red wine which complimented my meat course and got clinked during the big “happy birthday” cheers but that was all. What a splendid time had by all. I had to go to work this morning, on only 3 hours sleep (teething baby) but I still felt better today than the 10 friends I dined with.

I am going to give this moderation thing a go even after my epic fail last weekend, I’m not sure I am stupid enough to go that far again but only time will tell. This weekend moderation worked though.




Well that didn’t take me long did it, what a fool.
Today has been very long and very hard work following an afternoon of drinking yesterday. I thought I would just enjoy 1 glass of wine at our friends garden party which was blessed by the beautiful sunshine, but I got carried away and had another and another and another. At bedtime I saw every hour on clock go by, 1am, 2am, 3am and so on until I had to force myself out the bed to be at work at 7am.
When I got home from work I had to put my irritable, tired, bloated self down for nap instead of playing with my little family.
What a waste, hopefully I will learn from this and move on, back to a hangover free life that I had been enjoying in 2016.


Wagons (could have been day 131)


There are so many wagons to get on and fall off aren’t there and I have recently fallen off all of mine, one by one.

I ate wheat, which was just stupid.
I ate sugar laden treats after being sugar free for 11 months.
I drank a glass of red wine on day 114 of sobriety.
I drank a gin & tonic on day 128 of sobriety.

I am back on all of my wagons but have to say I did enjoy each of my falls even though non of them made me feel particular good or tasted how I expected them to. I am ready to ride again however I am not sure about my sober wagon, it’s a bit wobbly, I have got a feeling I will be falling of it again. The reason I say this is when I finished my drink on day 114 and 128 I simply didn’t fancy another, one was nice, one was enough, one was all I wanted. Perhaps after 113 days completely sober I have changed my ways and have gained some self control, It would be a wonderful place to be wouldn’t it, I have always wanted to be that person.