Day 30 the end of January & me me me

 

What a lovely weekend and the 5th sober weekend of 2016. A lot was squeezed into these 2 days, it still amazes me how much more time I have without the booze. I enjoyed windy walks by the sea, shopping, swimming and yoga. I even spent some time in the spa being steamed and bubbled which was shear heaven, a real treat followed by a frothy coffee with a best friend. I had a whole 3 hours without the little people and they were all about me me me.

I didn’t have any more sugary slip ups either. The ice cream I gorged on day 27 gave me a sleepless night and a headache so I won’t be doing that again. We ate fresh colourful plates of food, full of goodness and to celebrate my dry January efforts I have treated myself to a shiny new food processor which arrives tomorrow and I am super excited.

January was kind to me, I thought it was going to be cruel but it wasn’t. I guess as I was kind to myself the rest just fell into place. I am filling my time with positive activities (not wasting time in the wine aisle deliberating on what flippin grape or region is best) and people. That’s Really important actually, the folk we spend our time with need to be of a positive disposition, caring and understanding or just jolly good fun.

High five to you for getting this far too.

I’m ready for you February grrrr

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Day 27 ice cream

 

Day 27 ice cream

Today was rubbish, I didn’t enjoy it at all. It started with such promise as it was lighter than it has been at 7:30am which means spring is on the way and the sun shone all day. We were at the shops early and home for lunch with no meltdowns. Hoorah then at 1 0 clock it all went down hill leaving me tired, drained and grumpy.

About 7 pm I opened the freezer, found the ice cream and proceeded to eat half the tub, not thinking of anything except damn this taste good. Then suddenly I gasped and thought what the hell is going on, I don’t eat sugar, I haven’t eaten refined sugars for 8 months now.

But then I thought, hang on a minute not once had I thought about wine or alcohol during my dreadful afternoon, normally on a day like today I would be heading to the shop or texting my partner to grab some on his way home. Alcohol just did not cross my mind, wow, this in incredible. I just ate ice cream, I never thought this day would come where stress did not equal 1, 2, 3 glasses of wine sometimes the bottle.

I’m sad I ate ice cream but over the moon my first thought wasn’t alcohol. It wasn’t even a thought.

Day 25 running bug & pox

 

Day 25

In September 2015 I started jogging again after a very long break. I started running in 2005, taking it really slow at first and building it up to 3 x 10 k runs a week. I then started to enter local race days as I liked the buzz of running with thousands of other people along the sea front. I wasn’t the best runner or the fastest but I enjoyed it, it was me time, away with my thoughts, some real omm time.

In 2012 I ran my first (and last) ever marathon in Brighton, it was tough and took me 4 & a half hours which I think is pretty average but I was really pleased with it considering I didn’t do all the training, drank a lot of booze, ate take aways and smoked. I fell pregnant later that year with my first born and put running on hold. I flirted a little with a few jogs but nothing serious then I had another baby. I had quite long recoveries with both children as they were both born by emergency c section, therefore putting all exercise on hold.

Anyway in September I felt ready to start pounding the pavements again, dusted off my trainers and worked out some new routes as we have moved since I last ran. I think I managed about 15 minutes first time and boy oh boy did I ache. I went out every other day and was slowly building up strength and stamina. Then at the start of November the morning after a dinner party we had hosted for 6 guests all of which are big drinkers, me and my hangover fell down the stairs. I have never felt pain like it, I felt sick, I couldn’t breathe and then I sobbed and sobbed.

Fearing the worst I was taken to A & E to have my foot x rayed, luckily it wasn’t broken but I had torn the ligaments and had a lot of bruising which I was advised would take about 6 months to heal. I hobbled around in pain and took paracetamol for a couple of weeks, most inconvenient especially with 2 very energetic little people.

Like most people who enjoy a tipple I used it as an excuse to drink wine in the evenings, I felt low and trapped. I like to be active and outdoors, walking by the sea most days, not hobbling around my little house.

About 4 days after my fall I started to feel unwell and to my surprise I had caught the chicken pox. I suffered a really nasty fever, and had spots everywhere, hundreds of them. All over my face, torso, head, one in my eye and 4 in my mouth. My partner took a couple of days off work to help with the children whilst I slept off the fever. I didn’t know I hadn’t had it as a child, therefore my baby wasn’t immune and in turn both of the children caught it too.

A very unhappy household.

The spots are long gone but I still can’t run, funnily enough the 6 months healing time for my foot will tie in with me completing my 100 days of sobriety. So hopefully I’ll be in a much better place both mentally and physically and I know I am already much healthier. Maybe I’ll train for another marathon or something crazy.

Mmm maybe not……..

Day 24 going organic

 

With no bottles of booze on the shopping list I’ve been thinking of what to do with the money I’m saving and it’s a fair amount each week. I also want it to benefit the whole family & not just me.

I’ve mentioned before that diet is very important to me and I ensure we all eat healthily and include lots of fresh vegetables and fruit and good cuts of meat and fish and free range eggs. I eliminated wheat and sugar from my diet some time ago but do allow my children small amounts. We also try to eat with the seasons and use a local farm shop for our fruit and veg but they only open from the spring through to autumn. We pick our own strawberries in the summer and once we tasted them we never bought them in the supermarket again. Such a difference. Pow on the taste buds.

We don’t eat processed foods or take aways, well not often, we do enjoy a fish n chip supper once in a while, after all we do live by the sea in England and we mainly drink water and I try to only have coffee in the morning but being Mummy to a 2 year old and a 9 month old I sometimes need a 3 o clock hit of caffeine. So with all this in mind I’m seeing how we can improve further and I’m thinking organic.

We already have a few organic items in the shopping basket but I’m going to experiment and put my wine money towards increasing our consumption of organic food, and go the whole hog.

There are a few company’s who deliver direct to your door and all the produce is grown or reared within a certain mile radius of your postal code and is all traceable. So I’m going to give it a go. I’ll book my first delivery for next week. There thats that decided!!

I’ll let you know if we notice any difference

happy day whatever’s to you xx

 

 

 

 

Day 22 & 23 back to work, mums here and cheats

 

On Saturday my year away from work enjoying maternity leave came to an end. I think I’m ready for a change though, a little break from being Mum a couple of times a week will do me good. I’ll get to to talk to grown ups and have different things to think about. I went in Saturday and Sunday and rather enjoyed it. So that was good as I was a little nervous, but there was no need to be especially as I’m not drinking. If I was not being sober though, I reckon I would have drank Friday night to take the edge off the nerves which would have actually had the opposite effect come the morning, however I got up early and arrived feeling awake and positive.

Another good thing to happen this weekend was my Mum coming to stay. My children adore her and she adores them and my partner and her get on too, so no mother in law issues! She is my best friend, we walk, talk, shop, cook and drink wine together. Wait, what….. But not this weekend people. I told Mum about our dry January and my challenge and she thought dry January was a good idea but wasn’t so sure about the 100 day thing. She just see’s a glass of wine as a way to relax after our busy days, which is true but she isn’t here everyday. Mum normally arrives with lots of treats, gifts, food and bottles of wine, red and white, but there were no clinking sounds from her bags this time. Sigh…..

I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss our chitter chatter with glasses filled and yummy snacks but we got by and filled our time in other ways, we still had a super weekend together and I thank her for being respectful and for not drinking at this time.

Now my partner on the other hand is a cheat and I am not amused. He broke is dry January this afternoon, calling it a blip. I don’t think I’m bothered that he drank or what he drank but it was the fact we agreed to do this together and he went back on his word, dis a point ed……… That’s enough about him, the cheat. Who I can’t even be really mad with as he has done a lot for me this weekend, fixing things and cleaning up so grrrrrrrr.

More tea anyone!! Xx

Day 20 sparkly even with a cold

 

It’s been a funny week since I last posted. I have been full of cold which is rather dull, I got a parking ticket for being stupid and my mobile phone gave up and is repairable for an astronomical fee. However apart from being annoyed at the expense of it all I am still in a tip top mood.

Day 20′ ahem, high five to me! I am so proud of myself and what is really good is it seems to be getting easier. When I started this challenge I was certain it was going to get harder as the days slowly slipped by, so that is a nice surprise. I know I know, April is a long way off yet, I best not get ahead of myself.

I’ll admit I haven’t had any social gatherings to attend yet this year but there are some heading my way soon but with the strength and momentum gathered in January I feel confident that I will be able to enjoy them rather than be annoyed by them.

These past 20 days have been up and down but they have also had a profound effect on my personality ,I’m happier, calmer and a better person.

My eyes are brighter and my skin is clearer. I noticed a big difference in my appearance when I gave up wheat and sugar but removing the alcohol has given me an extra shine. I’m super sparkly and energetic.

Oh and my ironing pile has vanished, yes!

Day 14 up & down & ear worms

 

I woke up and the house was quiet, no children were awake yet. This is strange….. My eldest has recently had a grow clock put her bedroom to try and stop the 5:30 am starts and it looks like she is getting used to it, worth every penny if it works!

So at 6:45am I notice that I’m feeling good. I’m so chuffed with myself for reaching day 14 and I am feeling good. I kept saying those words ” feeling good” Muse jumped into my head and I put their track on in the kitchen whilst I made coffee and it sounded amazing. “And I’m feeling good”. What a fantastic ear worm for my day, much better than a lot of the awful music I get stuck in my head from the radio or TV adverts or even nursery rhymes. The wheels in the bus is a favourite!

Anyway straight after breakfast I loaded the little people into the car and we went to visit my Dad. In case you haven’t seen from previous posts he lives in a care home for dementia, and suffers from a form of dementia called Korsakoff caused by many years of alcohol abuse.
He was looking good today and was in good spirits and new who we were. Sometimes he is rather unkept and doesn’t know who is who and thinks that my eldest daughter is me as a child. Sometimes he just cannot get his mind into the present day.
We go and visit Dad once or twice a week and it always has a emotional impact on my day, especially the bad visits and seeing my Dad is a big reality check to the damage alcohol can do to an individual and everyone in their lives.

I made some soup this afternoon, and I make it using homemade bone broth/stock. Bone broth is super stuff especially made from chicken carcasses as it helps with anxiety something I have suffered with for years and think I always will to some degree. The broth helps by repairing and calming the mucous lining in our small intestine. If our guts are happy our nervous system is happy. I am becoming more and more convinced that we can heal most ailments with good food and happy guts. We are what we eat after all.

I have really thought about wine this evening, wondering why I let myself get to this point, why I ruined it for myself, why am I having to challenge myself to be sure I’m not addicted. I want a glass of wine still, it’s nagging at me. I have normally given up on my desire to drink by now but not tonight, so it’s early to bed for me. I don’t need to go to bed to stop me from drinking as I am not going to give in, even if it is Friday night but I can go to sleep and stop thinking about it.

So you see, it’s been up and down